This is the last Christmas related entry, I promise. Now, where is my soap box?

Friends and neighbors, I have a problem with you throwing your Christmas tree in your driveway to be hauled off with the rest of the Christmas trash. If you elect to kill a living thing for no better reason that your holiday enjoyment, at least give the tree a proper Viking funeral. We bring trees into our homes for the holiday to remind us that there is green (and hope) even in the depths of winter. We decorate them with family treasures that are lovingly passed down from generation to generation...�and then they get thrown out with the wrapping paper, champagne bottles and moldy fruitcake.

It�s wrong.

Your Christmas tree deserves better than to be dumped at the end of the holiday like some trick you picked up in an AOL chatroom

As I have mentioned, my grandfather was a Bishop and the Right Reverend Grandpa felt strongly that the family Christmas tree was a sacred object. Every year, on Epiphany* everyone was to bring their trees to the cathedral for a huge tree burning bonfire. It was the last blast of the holiday season and Little Justin loved this affair. As the trees were fed into the fire, flames and sparks would reach into the night sky as each brittle, resinous corpse exploded into incandescence. It was glorious and as I keep telling you, the whole thing is TOTALLY pagan. Although there was no naked dancing around the fire, there was hot cider and King cakes in the church afterwards. King Cakes have a little plastic baby Jesus baked inside. It�s fun, provided you don�t choke

Now isn�t that better than dead at the end of your driveway?

If you can�t do the pagan thing, you could take the tree to a drop off place and let the city recycle it into mulch. Your trees energy will go on in next spring�s tulips. Or throw it into a lake and create a crappie bed. Or haul it into the backyard and decorate it with treats for the birds.

Or you can do like we do at the Hawk-Travis-Tiu household. We take the tree apart, put it back in the box and store it behind the hot water heater until next Christmas

* January 6th, the day that celebrates 3 pagan astrologers following a star and arriving to find a peasant Jewish baby, you have heard this story before

0 People have told Dr JJ all about it