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1-4-2004 - 7:25 p.m.
You Are What You Eat archive edition Last evening, I was offered a piece of low-carb Russell Stover�s Chocolate candy. It was pretty good too, a lemon cr�me. But WTF, low carb chocolate? I was reminded of a coffee mug I used to have featuring that cantankerous cartoon cat, Garfield. The tubby tabby was diving into a dish of lasagna and proclaiming that �I never met a carbohydrate he didn�t like.� Word to the kitty! But carbs, as you know, are out of fashion in 2004. We've got low carb fast food and low carb beer. My daily lunch stable, Lean Cuisine is now offering a low carb variety. I tried their new turkey and green bean offering. Lots of green beans, very little turkey. No potatoes! WTF!? I even saw a Christmas card where the little children had left Santa a plate of pork chops instead of cookies. To this I say �Dr Atkins is dead, give me back my potatoes!� Of course it wasn�t potatoes and pork rinds that killed Doctor Atkins, it was ice and ice has no nutritional content at all. And we have an icy killer driveway today, but that's another story for another time. As you may or may not know, I have a weight loss group on Tuesday nights and I am SO proud of them. Together they lost over 450 lbs in 2003. That is the equivalent of 2 good sized bears or 3 twinks. Some of them have been following the Atkins plan and have done very well. Some have been eating complex carbs and very little fat or protein. We pass around a lot of little baby carrots during group. Some of the boys are drinking Slimfast or following the Jarod Subway diet. Cabbage soup. Bacon, eggs and grapefruit. You name it, they are trying it. As you can imagine, sometimes there are so heated discussions about �good and bad� foods. Personally, I can�t get behind the idea that mountains of pork rinds are �good� and apples are �bad�. Any program will work if you stick to it. For example Miss B lost 20 pounds by taking up smoking and replacing food with Diet Dr Pepper. Healthy? Of course not, but she has kept the 20 pounds off for a year. Michael is a 20 year vegetarian, eats a lot of rice and tofu and is slender as a willow. He�d never smoke or drink Dr Pepper. Michael is all about moderation. Hawk isn�t about moderation, but he is pretty healthy too. He is a follower of the low carb, plenty of protein diet. Give him a big ass steak and a salad for dinner and he�s a happy man. But he is genetically predisposed to ripping the heart of a buffalo and taking a bite while it is still beating. I am a follower of the Wolfgang Puck diet; Live, Love and Eat. But seriously, Americans spend more than $34.7 billion each year to trim down and it all starts over around New Years Day. But remember it�s that $34.7 billion figure, and not your own, that motivates Russell Stovers to make Low-Carb candy and Lean Cuisine to take the potatoes out of my turkey dinner. Same is true about Baked Lays or Diet Dr Pepper or the people that peddle �Buns of Steel� They don�t love you, but I do. You are perfect just the way you are.
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