The Devil's Playthings

Yesterday afternoon the weather was perfect; sunny and about 75. A light breeze was blowing. Dinner was already prepared and waiting for someone to get hungry. The flowers were thriving and our deck had never looked better. My children were happy and my companions were both intelligent and sexy. I am relaxing with a sock to knit, listening to the music of our new fountain. Michael has a new book. It would be suburban nirvana except...

...Hawk is restless. �Michael, do you think we should water the grass around the back fence?�

�If you want to� he replies, not looking up.

Hawk jumps up to turn on the sprinkler. A few minutes later, �Michael, do you think I should move the hose?� Mikey looks up from his book, the watering situation looks good to him.

I could care less; I am a house servant, not a field hand.

Hawk moves the hose. � Michael, do you think we should whack the weeds along the treeline? Feed the fish? Put in a 10 foot waterfall? Replace the boards in the deck? Scrub the grill? Paint the patio furniture? Trim the trees, etc?�

Hawk just ain�t happy to sit with the sun on his face and listen to the fountain. Our Hawk is a man of ACTION. Michael is doing a good job of ignoring him.

So he turns to me �What needs to be done for dinner, Babe?�

'Nothing, I've got it under control'

�Have you looked at those vacation brochures yet?�

'No.'

�Did you take the videos back to Blockbuster? Do you want to go to the driving range? Do you want to go to Home Depot?

�Yes, No and No. I want to sit in the sun and knit on this sock.� Michael takes his book down to the gazebo where it is quiet. �Ray, the world is not going to implode if you sit and do nothing for a few hours. Don�t you have a medical journal you could read or something?'

Hawk mulls over the concept of doing nothing, but he isn�t buying it. He decides to get something to drink for all of us and heads back into the house. We have some new Ocean Spray Ruby Red Lemonade 'Does everyone want lemonade?'

Mikey comes back up on the deck, shaking his head. �Is he driving you crazy?'

�Yeah, he�s a real buzzkill today�

�Think we should kill him and hide his body in the koi pond?� asks Michael.

I consider this option. �Nah, too much work� I reply. Maybe shoot him with a rhino gun, something that will stop him in his tracks and give us some peace.�

�We could take him upstairs and have sex with him� Michael suggests

�Nah, too much work.� Michael agrees.

We go back to our respect knitting and book, enjoying the breeze on our faces and the tinkling of the fountain.

And speaking of sloth, don't forget to take the Dante's Inferno Quiz

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