Bedtime?

I don�t know if it�s a blessing or a curse, but I can...and do...fall asleep about anywhere. I�m one of those people that can get into bed, turn out the light and be asleep before the room gets dark.

Hawk knows if he wants any bedtime loving, he had better not linger in the bathroom. While he�s brushing his teeth, I get bagged by the sandman

We have this one chair in the living room that is especially narcoleptic. I believe that it is secretly stuffed with poppies. I can just forget about seeing the end of a teevee show if I sit in the brown velvet recliner. I haven�t seen the end of an �Iron Chef� battle in years. As much as I love my Royals, I often have to check the final score on the �Net. I have zzzzz-d out long before the 7th inning stretch

But last night was just plain odd. Ray was watching his new favorite show, �Operation Iraqi Freedom�, and I was knitting something that took no focus. I fell asleep.

Somewhere around 10:30, Ray wakes me up to go to bed. �Wake up and go to sleep� he said, which is a pretty strange sentence when you think about it.

Apparently I tell him I�ll be along as soon, just as I let the dog out. But I stay asleep, concreted to my chair and dreaming that I am doing all the �putting the house to bed tasks� like locking up and turning out the lights. I even dream that I have washed my face and brushed my teeth.

I have done this many times in the morning, where I stay in bed dreaming that I am going thru my �getting ready for work� ritual. I am always pissed at myself when I discover that I am still asleep and not ready for work after all.

I wake up later to Michael talking to me, telling me to go to bed. Mikey says I tell him that I am already in bed, which is obviously not true.

I am really surprised to find I am still downstairs. Michael starts kissing me. I can feel the long silky strands of his hair against my face. He�s trying to get me out of my clothes. Things are heating up between us when Michael wakes me up again. He�s not kissing me; he�s eating a peanut butter sandwich and drinking a glass of milk. I �m dreaming again

Ah shucks

�Seriously JJ, go to bed� he says. So I do. But I don�t, I only dream I�ve gone to bed again, once again repeating the bedtime rituals.

I wake up to Becky talking to me, telling me to go to bed. I�m snoring, according to Miss B. and it�s gross. She has her hair done up in these strange corkscrew curls with little baby barrettes. Dreaming, I tell her I am already in bed. She begs to differ. She fetches Mikey, who has had enough of my foolishness. Mikey places an ice cold wash cloth against my face and neck. This wakes me 100%. I�m really confused about why I am still downstairs. Michael gently explains that I have been dreaming and helps me to my feet. I�m laughing now, telling him that in my dreams Missy had done something strange to her hair again.

Miss B comes out of the kitchen, her hair all tied up in corkscrews and little barrettes.

I fear for my sanity

1 People have told Dr JJ all about it