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3-16-2003 - 4:03 p.m.

High Rolling with JJ and Mikey

Mysterious Michael announces Friday that since we are both Scorpios and apparently our moons are in Jupiter, it would be a good evening to �go to the boats�.

Going to the boats has nothing to do with sport fishing, its Kansas City slang for hitting the casino. Once upon a time, the casinos were actually in boats located in the river, but now they are the size of shopping malls and only near the river. I doubt very much they would float.

I don�t know all that much about astrology, but I used to deal blackjack on a cruise ship off the 7-mile marker in Galveston. I was good, too. Fastest hands in Texas, ask any of the boys. I can add in my head and know to split my aces and 8s. I�ll take a hit if I�ve got a 16 and the dealer is showing a face card. The mysterious one believes that between my skills, his karma and the Jupiter moon, a trip to the casino could be most profitable.

What the heck, yesterday was payday

Ol� Doc Hawk declines the invitation to come along. Hawk only supports the kind of gambling that is relieving the white man of his money for the good of the tribe. Hawk is sometimes too goody two-shoes to be true. Doesn�t drink, doesn�t smoke, and doesn�t gamble, he exercises, eats right, goes to bed early and wakes up in a cheerful mood. If he didn�t turn into a wild animal in the bedroom every now and then, he would totally be no fun.

If you have never been to a casino and have visions of James Bond playing baccarat at the Grand Casino in Monte Carlo with a dangerous beauty on his arm, you would be disappointed. �The Boats� are frequented by busloads of chain smoking grandmas from the retirement communities and plenty of folks that look like they can�t afford to lose a quarter. Seriously, I saw people at the cashier windows trying to exchange their pennies into one last quarter.

Mikey says never gamble with money you can�t afford to lose. The money �knows� and senses your desperation. I don�t believe that is ancient Chinese wisdom, that�s just common sense. I have $150 in my wallet. If I lose it all, we won�t miss any meals, although I might have to pass on a silk/cashmere blend for my next sock project.

We go to Harrah�s. I like the Mardi Gras casino. It�s cute; decorated like a Disneyland French Quarter without the humidity, Madagascar termites and drunks pissing in the streets. The carpet has a pattern with beads, masks and money. It�s festive as heck.

Mikey likes slot machines and he begins scanning the place, looking for �The One� that is calling his name. He settles on a noisy, flashy machine called �I Dream of Genie� Very unMikey. I don�t like the slots. They were invented to keep the wives of blackjack players entertained while the MEN did REAL gambling, but I don�t tell Mikey this. I sit down to play $5 hand Blackjack. The dealer has fingernails that are 2 inches long and look like talons. She uses them efficiently to turn over the cards. Still, I wouldn�t want to be around her in mid-orgasm.

After about an hour, I am ahead $15 whole dollars. Mikey shows up looking like a giant Chinese leprechaun, holding the pot of gold. Genie has paid off and he has 1,000 tokens in a plastic bucket.

That�s $250. He offers to buy me breakfast. I suggest he keeps playing until he can buy me a Lexus. Michael decides to play a hand or two of Blackjack, betting $20 a hand. He gives me a look like I am a middle-class peasant when I continue to bet $5. Mikey wins the first 4 hands, even hitting Blackjack, increasing his winning by $100 quickly. �Moon in Jupiter� he reminds me. I win 2 and lose 2.

A little more Blackjack, a few slots, a little roulette. Mikey wins $36 on a $1 roulette bet, I am thinking champagne for breakfast.

I can only handle the over-stimulation of the casino for a few hours until I am screaming to go home. We cash out. I have my $150 that I started with, not a penny more or less. High Rolling Mikey is up $412, not enough to get him banned from the casino for life or a down payment on my Lexus, but a nice little profit.

I bemoan the fact that I have neutral luck, neither winning or losing. He suggests that perhaps when we get home, my luck might change.

And it did

Moon in Jupiter

Opening Day for Baseball Countdown: 8 days!!



Go Back
Previously in Justinland: Our Last Five Entries

Wagons Ho! - 4-23-2004

This Old Barn - 4-17-2004

Death and Taxes - 4-15-2004

MMQB:Leftover Peeps - 4-12-2004

The Alamo; The Movie not the Shrine - 4-10-2004


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