Dad Joins a MASH Unit

My Father's Alzheimer�s disease is getting worse by the day, but he still seems to be pretty happy.

He enjoys mealtime...a lot, especially if there is going to be ice cream. He enjoys his cat and his daily walk with his dog. He likes to play solitaire on his computer, although owning a $1,200 computer and just using it to play a card game seems bizarre and wasteful. But,most of all, he likes to watch television. �Wheel of Fortune� and �Judge Judy� are 2 of his favorites, but above all else, he likes to watch re-runs of MASH on FX.

And if you enjoy watching MASH, you are in luck, because FX shows 10 episodes a day. ALL MASH ALL THE TIME! One of the hidden blessings of Alzheimer�s is that there are no reruns. My poor Mother says she can recognize every show and recite all the dialogue within 30 seconds of the show�s start.

This explains why Mom reads a lot of romance novels

It�s a good show, I suppose with a strong anti-war message. At least it evolved into a good show after the American Nurse�s Association got on their ass and reminded them that nurses are highly educated health care professionals and NOT sex toys. Never mess with nurses, we have a powerful lobby!

Back to Dad and his total MASH immersion. Because of his...uhh...flexible memory and because he watches the show so much, the characters have become real people to him. Recently we realized that that fine line between reality and television had blurred and believes that he was in Korea with Hawkeye, Margaret, Charles, Radar and the rest of the MASH gang.

Just for the record, while my father has been to Korea several times on business, he did not serve in the Korean War.

The family is tolerant and finds no reason to smack him in the face with a reality cream pie when he wanders into a MASH related wartime memory. �Yeah Dad, that was pretty funny that time you had to help BJ give Colonel Potter�s horse an enema.� �We all cried when Henry died.�

Because my parents live in a specialized Alzheimer�s retirement community, if he drifts into one of his reminiscences, no one really cares or notices. All the clients are making it up at this place.

Retirement communities mean �planned activities� and �planned activities� often include �dinner theater�. My father, a hearty eater, LOVES dinner theater...the dinner part more than the theater. I've been there, the food is great. But as anyone who follows the Midwestern dinner theater circuit knows, that is where old MASH cast members end up, doing Neil Simon for senior citizens.

When Ms Loretta Switt was in town in some piece of fluff called �Song of Singapore�, Dad was all excited that he was going to see his old friend �Margaret� again. Margaret, he recalls, was sexy, but a damn fine nurse. However Ms Switt, did not meet and greet the audience after the show and he was hurt and a little disappointed. Mom was relieved that nothing strange or embarrassing happened

Maybe he should have sent flowers backstage.

However, when Jamie Farr hit town in a terrible play called �Moon over Buffalo� he did do the meet and greet thing. Dad hugged his ol� buddy Klinger tight and to his credit, Mr. Farr played right along. They exchanged slaps on the back and called each other �You old son of a bitch, how the hell are you?� They teased each other about looking older and �it was great to see you, again� Mom took dad by the elbow after a minute and led him reluctantly away from the receiving line. Dad talked about it for days.

Gary Burghoff is coming to town in �Mel and Me� next month. Dad can't wait. Mom is nervous. I�ll keep you posted

1 People have told Dr JJ all about it