Where we once again take a lot of loose thoughts and attempt to knit them into an entry...or maybe I had better use

Happy Birthday to my sister, Betsy. You were my very first friend, sometimes my second mom and always my biggest supporter. You are awesome, Lady, and I love you.

It�s also Peter Gabriel�s birthday. Play �In your Eyes� for someone you love today.

Orange Alert:

I just got home from Target where there was a feeding frenzy in the hardware and Valentine departments. Then I went to the gas station. $1.69/gallon.

If the apocalypse is coming to Kansas, give me a front row seat. I refuse to hide in the basement. I have Alzheimer�s in my genes, and that scares me more than anything Al-Qaida has up its collective jellaba.

Still, I might buy some duct tape, Valentine�s Day is tomorrow.

Meanwhile, ol Doc Hawk was just vaccinated for smallpox and Super Trauma Counselor is getting instructive e-mails on 'Talking to Children about War'

Knitting Knews

I finished those bright turquoise striped socks last night, then proudly showed them to Hawk. He gave me the dismisive �that�s nice, baby� smile, but a few minutes later, he dropped a ball of soft gray striped yarn in my lap. Daddy wants a new pair of dress socks.

Michael Update

Becky Confrontation Du Jour

5:15 Becky says �Can I use the car? I need to return a book to the library.� The library is less than � mile away, so the request sounds benign enough. But you and I both know �the �library� is the oldest trick in the book.

My personal best is that I once went to St Louis and back, telling Mom that the library was having �extended hours�.

But the best �lying to the parents� story I ever heard is told by my favorite faghag girlfriend, Nancy. In 1969, when she was just 14, she �missed� the bus to Mormon Church camp and went all the way from a small town in Utah to Woodstock. To this very day, her parents don�t know.

If you can top that, please feel free to share.

Back to Becky; skeptically, I hand over the keys, reminding her that dinner is in 1 hr and her presence is requested. She leaves, but oddly enough, the library books remain on the kitchen table.

She misses dinner. 7pm rolls around, No Becky. She is not answering her cell phone. She calls at 8pm, claiming that she is at Ryan�s house, �watching a movie� I tell her to get HER ass and MY car home NOW! 8:15 Ryan calls, asking if Becky is home. Bailey is playing innocent. The phone starts ringing off the hook with friends trying to warn Becky that she is SO busted. An AIM message pops up on the computer from Ryan:

�i let it slip 2 dad that u wuznt here sorry!�

Note to Becky: If you are going to lie to me, don�t leave your Instant Messages or your Blog open.

Finally at 9:15 she arrives, bearing a coconut cr�me pie, thinking I will react like Homer Simpson and not notice she is 3 hrs late. She�s 'been to the library, then over to Bob Evans to pick up my apron and then to Walgreen�s for toothpaste�.

I start yelling; Ray jumps in and has a few loud comments of his own. She is grounded until I have gotten over being mad and that may take awhile. 10 minutes later, after consulting with Bailey, she confesses all. She�s been �hanging out� with a new player, Craig. This is the first time we have heard that name...but she really, REALLY likes him.

Like I care.

Miss Becky has been watching too many cop shows. We don�t go easier on you if you confess. She spits and sputters that �you said you were mad because I lied and now I have told the truth, so what's your problem?�

And on that happy note: Michael�s Feng Shui birth control Tip of the day:

�Don�t decorate your home with images of fierce, stalking, pouncing or attacking tigers with or without live or dead prey if you wish to have children�

3 People have told Dr JJ all about it