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12-03-2002 - 4:21 p.m.

The Great Enchilada Mix-up

Those who eat fugu soup are stupid.

But those who don't eat fugu soup are also stupid~ Japanese Proverb

In the natural evolution of the Thanksgiving turkey from centerpiece of the feast to the kettle of turkey and rice soup, we are currently at the turkey casserole stage. Turkey tetrazini or turkey divan is always an option, but I select the road less taken and decide on turkey-spinach enchiladas. Or spinach-cheese green onion enchiladas depending on your position concerning the eating of turkey. Yeah, I know they are raised in huge, crowded turkey factories and are so genetically altered they can�t even mate naturally. Don�t bother to e-mail me. No carnivore is more respectful and accommodating to vegetarians than me. Ask Mikey. Turkey was 49cents a pound. You can�t buy tofu for that price.

The recipe is simple enough. Fry the green onion and some mushrooms, spice it up, make a cheese sauce, add the spinach. Add lots of spinach because it disappears when it gets hot. Seriously, the disappearing spinach defies all laws of physics. Roll up � of this mixture into the tortillas and place in a baking dish. I like my cobalt blue Pyrex 9x13.

While I am doing this, I don�t notice that the Alex, the cat has jumped up on the counter and has gobbled down a good portion of the chopped turkey. Alex doesn�t give a rat�s ass about inhumane conditions at the Butterball factory. Alex is an unapologetic carnivore.

I like that about Alex.

Chop up MORE turkey and add it to the remainder of the cheese sauce. Roll up the rest of the enchiladas; add them to the baking dish. Here�s the important part; Veggie enchiladas on the left, carnivorous on the right. Don�t mix them up. Bake at 350 until it�s bubbly and delish.

Dinner is served. The family is called and all 6 of us answer roll call. This rarely happens, but it�s nice when it does. There is a green salad with tomatoes and oranges and flour tortillas.

Then disaster strikes! Somehow in the transition from oven to table the cobalt Pyrex baking dish gets switched around, Left is now right. The vegetarians get turkey laden enchiladas. The meat eaters get nothing but spinach and cheese.

It�s an honest mistake. Mikey and I simply swap plates. The ever hungry Ray is calculating how he can turn this fortuitous error into double helpings. Becky and Bailey glare at me like I have tried to poison them with Japanese puffer fish. Now last year at this time these ladies could polish off a 12 piece family bucket of KFC all by themselves. I replace their Turkey poisoned enchiladas with the vegan version, but they still don�t trust me. They dissect the dinner like they were searching for Fugu Tetrodotoxin and finally announce that they are �not hungry�. Then they attack the pile of flour tortillas, slathering them with butter, cinnamon and brown sugar. 20 seconds in the microwave. Try it. It's pretty good.

Ray scores both their portions of enchiladas. Lucky for me, Ray makes love like he eats. Total abandon and always wanting seconds. He hasn�t gained an ounce in ten years either.

I hate him

After 5-6 sugary tortilla roll-ups, I remind the ladies to eat their salads. It�s a nice salad with field greens, tomatoes and even a cut up orange. They don�t like salad. Vegetarians that won�t eat salad. Go figger.

"Well at least eat the tomatoes and orange pieces. You need the vitamin C, Have you had any Vitamin C today?" I ask, foolishy.

�Yes, we have. Skittles� they reply

I smile to myself, and decide not to tell them that Skittles are made with beef gelatin.



Go Back
Previously in Justinland: Our Last Five Entries

Wagons Ho! - 4-23-2004

This Old Barn - 4-17-2004

Death and Taxes - 4-15-2004

MMQB:Leftover Peeps - 4-12-2004

The Alamo; The Movie not the Shrine - 4-10-2004


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