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11-26-2002 - 5:41 p.m.

3 Men in a Tub

I admit it freely. I am an unapologetic hedonist. I am sensual and self-indulgent to the point of decadence. I like my pleasures. I run screaming like a coward from discomfort. I like silk and cashmere and flannel sheets on the bed. I like champagne and chocolate in bed. I like biscotti and cinnamon hazelnut cappucino. I like my Jaccuzi and I�ll let Calgon take me away. I like sex. A lot. I like dusting the furniture with orange oil Pledge and I like wooden knitting needles better than aluminum. Samuel Barber�s �Adagio for Strings� makes me shudder with pleasure. So does Robert Plant hitting the high notes on �Babe, I�m gonna leave you�

You get the point. At least I am not selfish; you are more than welcome to join me in my indulgences. The more the merrier. I�m a psychologist; My goal is for you to be happier.

So this brings us to the case of Mysore sandalwood soap. Not 'case' like a Sherlock Holmes mystery, The Case of the Missing Soap. A 'case' like a shipping box filled with 2 dozen bars of soap. Stocking stuffers, OK? I got it on eBay, another of my indulgences. Good price too. 50 cents a bar

I love sandalwood, it�s all warm and wood and sensual and this is the good stuff. The scent stays on your skin all day

Now, ol� Doc Hawk is Spartan compared to me, but he�s a good pupil and doesn�t balk anymore when I want to play �close your eyes and you will get a big surprise�. Still, he recommends unscented Dove soap for his babies, like 4 outta 5 Pediatricians do. �Skin doesn�t need perfume. It will just dry you out�, say Hawk. When it comes to the family soap dish, don�t fuck around with Hawk�s Dove. He doesn�t even trust Ivory. He�s Hawkish about his Dove

But I have 24 creamy bars of thick lathering, rich smelling sandalwood soap. I distribute them to the various sinks and showers in the house. I am not replacing the Dove, just offering up a more exotic smelling alternative.

Mikey wanders into my office yesterday afternoon and in mid-question comments on how good I smell. He is lured a little closer into my personal space. He smells pretty spicy himself and we sniff each other like dogs in the park. It�s not just the smell of the sandalwood, it�s the sandalwood combined with that unique essence of Mikey.

One thing leads to another. Yada, Yada, Yada

The B-gurlz get on board with the sandalwood too. They come home from school yesterday claiming that the boys in their class were all aflutter about how good they smelled. �Ryan says I smelled good enough to eat� reports Miss Bailey. �People were stopping me in the halls� adds Miss Becky. They shove slender wrists under my nose so I can have a sniff of sandalwood scented daughter.

Afterwards my soap induced lust of yesterday; I am considering that the ladies need to revert back to the Dove. Call me a chauvinist if you must. Those middle school boys don�t need anything extra to warm up their pheromones

Later that night, Ol Doc Hawk climbs into bed, he snuggles in burying his nose in my neck. �You smell great� he murmurs. �Like a Hindu bride�

The soap is going back on Ebay. In the adult section! Hindu Aphrodisiacs. $5 bucks a bar.



Go Back
Previously in Justinland: Our Last Five Entries

Wagons Ho! - 4-23-2004

This Old Barn - 4-17-2004

Death and Taxes - 4-15-2004

MMQB:Leftover Peeps - 4-12-2004

The Alamo; The Movie not the Shrine - 4-10-2004


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