In Which my career is saved by a Manic Angel
Labor Day has me all confused. Yesterday seemed like Monday and the whole rhythm of the week is off. I am sure I am not he only one.
The cold is better today, still no one wants to have sex with me. Those darn physicians, afraid of a couple of cold germs. You know they are probably getting it on like bunnies in the springtime behind my sneezing back.
Thanks to Advil 12hr Cold and Sinus; I managed to put in a full day of work yesterday. However, the rebound on any of those OTC cold meds is a serious bitch. When they wear off, you had better be prepared to fall over where you are because it�s like someone pulled the plug on you.
Last night the Tuesday Tribe is all a buzz with gossip 'Justin is so hot, Justin is so talented' I am feeling smug when they ask if they can watch 'American Idol' instead of having group.
Oh, my bad
Starting next week, I am going to be taking my first group of sweet, fresh faced nursing students into the county psychiatric hospital for their clinical rotation thru the wonderful world of mental health nursing. My job will be to visit the unit the day before clinicals start to find appropriate patients for the students and then supervise them while they are actually interacting with these same patients. Afterwards, there�s �post-clinical conference� where we Monday Morning quarterback the whole experience.
Yesterday, I go over to visit some of the units and meet with the nurse managers.
Hmmm, this maybe a harder job than I anticipated.
Without violating patient confidentiality, let me say that you don�t get stuck in the county psych hospital just because you are a little blue and need a few days off from reality. It�s not a snake pit, but it�s not Rancho Relaxo Spa either. This place is jammed packed with all varieties of textbook pathologies. If you don�t have insurance and you are so disturbed you need to be institutionalized, this is the place.
The kind of patients I am looking for can�t be so depressed that they won�t talk to the students, but they can�t be so psychotic that what they say makes no sense. The paranoids are afraid of new faces and the catatonics, well� obviously that won�t work. Alcoholics and crack heads tend to be manipulative and anyone that has been especially sexually adventurous is probably not the right patient for pretty young nursing students.
I�m flipping thru the patient�s charts, wondering if I am going to be able to find 4-5 patients a week that would be appropriate for my students when I am confronted by the largest woman I have ever seen before, I mean NFL tackle big and she�s smiling broadly at me.
�Hey pretty boy� she shouts, moving right into my personal space. I move back a little, she moves forward. She is as friendly and as imposing as a Saint Bernard puppy. �Whatcha doing? Do you have a Sears Catalog? Because I need a Sears Catalog because I need an exercise bike if I want to be a size 7 for Christmas.� My new friend talks non-stop for 5 minutes about nothing and everything.
My prayers are answered. Manics!
