Dove e' il corso di golf?

A few weeks ago Ray says to me, 'JJ, are you sure there are golf courses where we are going in Italy? I can't seem to find any on the 'net.'

'Sure Ray', I sez, 'Just look here on the map. See Golfo Di Napoli and Golfo di Salerno. The golf courses are so big that they had to put the text in the water.' Ray is pacified for the moment and I figure I had better bust ass to find us a tee time SOMEPLACE on the Italian peninsula.

There are golf course in Italy, of course, but they are up north. I haven't actually mentioned that Southern Italy is mostly rocky hills and if there was enough flat land to build a golf course, it would probably be used as farmland.

Google turns up two piddly little 9-hole courses in Naples, which is a nasty little city filled with thieves. I call a travel agent I know and tell him I am desperate. Anyday now Ray is going to find out that 'golfo' means 'gulf' and he is going to frown.

I don't like it when Ray frowns. He's a Leo, it's scary.

'JJ, you want to play golf, go to Hawaii or Scotland' laughs the travel agent. He proceeds to describe great package deals to St Andrews, the birthplace of golf 'You crack me up, JJ. There ain't no golf courses in southern Italy'

I am going to have to confess all and hope that the lure of sunshine, scenery, sex and seafood is enough to make Ray not frown. I'll mention the lemons again.

Last night Ray comes home all happy and excited. He's tapped into that most secretive society of golfing physicians and has scored us a tee time at a posh country club in the hills of above Rome. On his birthday, no less.

We're going to be golfing where Popes and Caesars have golfed!

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