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7-17-2002 - 22:29

My Tuesday Tribe

Tuesday nights are just about my favorite because Tuesday=Gay Teen group therapy night. They call themselves 'the Tuesday Tribe'

It is my professional opinion that teenagers are not young adults, they are an entire alien species. It is also my professional opinion that there is not much difference between your average 2 year old and your average young teenager, the gay ones being no exception. Both have little impulse control. Both realize they can say 'No' to the parental unit and the sky won't fall. Both do incredibly stupid things without being aware of the consequences.

The goal of parenting these creatures is to keep them alive long enough until they get the concept of cause and effect.

Not that I was perfect at that age, I wasn't. If you don't believe me, ask mom and she will show you all her gray hair.

The Tuesday Tribe always starts out with the fashion parade. Apparently my boys are dressing up for the occasion. New clothes, new ink, new hair colors are greeted with squeals of approval. A truly hot look is probably going to be reproduced in triplicate next week.

I provide the snacks because teenage boys EAT! The only difference between straight and gay teenage boys seems to be that a gayboi can tell you the fat grams in a handful of junk food before he eats it. A gayboi will drink Diet Coke, too. Straight boys never touch the stuff

There are 12 boys here tonight, one more than last week, so I am encouraged. Nothing is deeply pathological with any of them, but they are gay teens trying to find their place in a straight world.

My goal for the group is simple. I want my boys to know they aren't the only one going through the occasional hell that is gay adolescence. I want them to make intelligent, safe choices about their sexuality. I want them to live long enough to become adult men.

I call the group to order. I tell them they are all looking especially adorable tonight, which causes some giggling. I ask everybody how their weekend went.

'It was hot' or 'It sucked' were the top 2 answers.

'Is that a good or a bad thing'? I ask. I forgot, I have one more goal, the boys need to be able to communicate with sentences containing more than 2 words.

I ask once of the quieter boys about his weekend. He went to see Men in Black2 'How was it?', I asked.

'It was awesome'

OK, awesome is added to the list of answers. A debate begins. Men in Black2 sucked. Will Smith is hot. Will Smith sucks. The boys are looking forward to the new Austin Powers movie. He Rules! which may be spelled 'roolz'

I add 'Rules' to the vocabulary list.

'Beyonce is hot! No, Beyonce sucks'. I don't have to ask who Beyonce is. I be hip.

'Anybody have a date this weekend?' Yeah, it was hot, it sucked, it ruled, it was awesome. We discuss how badly it sucks when some awesome hottie doesn't call you again after a date. The boys show incredible empathy and support for their brother who has been waiting by the phone. I don't have to say a thing for 15 minutes, but Daddy is proud of his tribe.

We discuss life with the 'rents. It sucks. Everybody has a story to tell from the perfectly reasonable parental request...like where you are going, with whom and when will you be back... to the parent that should be arrested for child abuse. Again the boys are supportive of each other and I am thinking that maybe I like being a psychologist after all.

We all agree that 'work sucks' but what are ya gonna do?

School starts again in a month. Now that really sucks. It even BITES

Till next week, boys. Be well and Be Happy



Go Back
Previously in Justinland: Our Last Five Entries

Wagons Ho! - 4-23-2004

This Old Barn - 4-17-2004

Death and Taxes - 4-15-2004

MMQB:Leftover Peeps - 4-12-2004

The Alamo; The Movie not the Shrine - 4-10-2004


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