Anyone Want a Lemon?
In May, ol' Doc Hawk sez to me that because I worked SO hard (little does he know..wink) in school and our 10th Anniversary was coming up in July that he would take me 'anywhere I want to go' for vacation in 2nd week in August.WOW! Anywhere in the world is a LOT of places.
My choice. As I have already mentioned, Ray is notoriously bad at picking out vacation spots. I love him dearly, but he took us to Palm Springs, CA in August.
The backstory on all this is that when I met Ram�n 10 years ago, he had traveled a bit thru South Dakota and had once been all the way to Minneapolis, but he was not a well-traveled man. Kansas City was the farthest off the rez he had ever been.
On the other hand, my parents ran an importing business and I have been all over the world. They once took my sisters and me to freakin' North Pole to meet Santa Claus. I'm serious. Santa lives in Lapland, which is part of Finland. Look it up if you don't believe me. Point is, I pick better vacations than he does and he has learned to defer to my judgement...in this one tiny area, at least.
Ray said he honestly didn't care where we went, although someplace sunny with a beach and a golf course is never wrong
I mention that I would like a leisurely road trip starting in Northern California and ending up in Vancouver.
So then one day, I am watching �Mario eats Italy� on Food Teevee. Mario and his friend are visiting the �bee-U-tee-ful Amalfi coast. You have to imagine Mario saying this They are driving along in a little red Fiat convertible and Mario proclaims that �this is the most bee-U-tee-ful 30 miles on earth.
Well, it is pretty, I notice, and someplace I have never been. I perk up.
Mario and friend have rented a great villa with a terrace overlooking a sparkling azure sea. They can walk into the ancient town and buy a fish for dinner from the very man that caught it that morning. They flirt with the old senoras at the panneteria. They stop for a cappucino at a charming outdoor cafe. They stroll back to the villa, make pasta and dine al fresco. It's wonderful and old world and romantic. Best of all, they pick their own lemons from a little grove right there at the villa.
I live in Kansas; I have never picked a lemon. I point to the teevee and tell Ray �that�s it that is what I want to do. I want to go to the bee-U-tee-ful Amalfi coast and rent a villa and buy a fish right off the boat and flirt with the old ladies and make love all afternoon on the terrace. And lemons, I want to pick my own lemons�
�Uhhh, where is it?� asks Ray, because he is a pediatrician and not a cartographer.
�Southern Italy, on the Mediterranean, I say
�That�s in Europe� he replies, because you can�t sneak nothing past ol�Doc Hawk.Do they have beaches?'
'Beautiful, sparkling beaches'. I reply, never having been there and pretty much making it up as I go along. I've been to Rome, Venice and Florence and don't recall any beaches, but Italy is surrounded by water, so there must be beaches someplace. 'It will be great' I continue. 'We'll pick our own lemons and drink cappucino and eat seafood and make love all afternoon with the doors to the terrace wide open and we can listen to the sea.'
Mario cooks some yummy looking pasta and something else comes on the tube. Emeril, I think. Nothing more is said about the Amalfi coast.
A few days later, I am watching something on Food Teevee about �The American Orient Express�. The train looks fun as it travels down the coast from Seattle to LA. �That�s it,� I say, pointing to the teevee �that is what I want to do.�
Hawk interrupts my flight of fantasy �I thought you wanted to go to the Amalfi coast? I already bought the tickets and rented the villa.� He has even rented the Fiat.
WOW!
Anyway, we leave in 2 weeks and I am starting to get excited. Anyone want me to bring them a lemon?
