Summer School

Summer school started today. I am teaching 'Introduction to Psychology' to a lot of highly motivated soon-to-be high school seniors that are trying to jumpstart their college careers. Should be fun, but you have to wonder what kind of kids are willing to give up their summers for 3 hours college credit.

Shouldn't you kids be out getting laid or smoking dope or something? It's SUMMER for god's sake. Sleep Late, go to the pool, hang out at the mall. You know how many carefree summers you have in your future, kids? Not that many. I swear youth is wasted on the young.

Meanwhile...

Thank Heaven for Little Girls

No problems with the ladies at our house wasting their summer in a stuffy class room. They have been arising every day at the crack of noon, spend an hour on the grooming rituals, then they carefully plan which of many young men they are going to torment today. These poor boys have been phoning since 8am for their sleeping beauties and as soon as word is out that they have risen like Venus from their beds, the lads start arriving by bike, skateboard or automobile at our door.

It's Miss Scarlet at the 12 Oaks BBQ all over again.

All innocent fun, you may be thinking...but the plot thickens. Missy comes home a few days ago with a fresh carton of Marlboro Reds. I don't smoke, which is a good thing since I am married to a pulmonologist. I don't really know what cigarettes cost but I do know that cartons are over $20 bucks and the stores aren't suppose to be selling them to 14 year olds.

So I ask 'Excuse me, Miss b. Where the hell are you getting the cigarettes now?' 'Now' is because she WAS getting them at the grocery store where her friend worked until Ray busted her and read the riot act to the store manager and now I can't shop there anymore.

She squirms 'Promise you won't get mad, JJ?'

Note to Self:Don't ever promise Missy you won't get mad until you hear the whole story

I promise

Apparently the little tarts are putting on the warpaint (sorry Ray) baring middrift and boobs and vamping it up at the local Texaco station in order to get cigarettes.

According to Missy, who I do not consider a reliable source, the pumpboys are falling all over themselves, eager to please.

Reminds me of the girls in the old ZZ Top videos, the ones that gang up on some hapless straight boy and rock his world.

I scold her a little bit, reminding that she should only use her powers for good, never evil and then the other shoe drops.

The girls have been exposing their brand new breasts at drive-thru windows for free fast food. So far they have scored at Taco bell, Krispee Kreme and their personal best is an entire bucket of chicken from the KFC.

I swear my life is a sit-com sometimes

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