When It absolutely, positively has to be There

I�m just going to complain for a few minutes. Feel free to ignore me.

Last Wednesday, June 20th, I order 3 books from Amazon.com for my friend, Adam's birthday. Adam is a practicing witch. He has an old, unwanted boyfriend camped out on his couch, so I thin When it absolutely, positively has to be there

I'k it would be funny to order this book called 'How to Turn Your Ex-Boyfriend into a Toad' He can leave the book on the coffee table and maybe the man will take the hint and move on.

Last time I order something from Amazon, they get it to me in 48hrs, so I am confident that the books will arrive before the B-day on Monday. Amazon ships from someplace in Nevada. Adam lives in Idaho. Not across the street, but at least they are in the same neck of the woods, geographically. Monday I track the package with Airborne Express to see if it has been delivered. Package is in freaking North Carolina

Now, I don't claim to be a geography major, but that package is more lost than Christopher Columbus. Isn't North Carolina WAY east of Idaho? Next day, the package is in Ohio. OK, better, but now the birthday has passed.

Wednesday the package doesn't leave Ohio, Thursday the package arrives in Idaho where it is delivered to the central post office in Boise. Airborne has turfed the package to the Post Office, which is perfectly capable of delivering books all by themselves at a much lower price. Thank you Ben Franklin!

Now it's Friday, Adam still doesn't have his present. The man is still loitering on his couch and I look like I forgot his birthday

Happy Birthday, Adam. I love you. I do not love Airborne Express

Spare me From Adam Sandler

The bitch is everywhere, I can't get into my Yahoo mailbox without him popping up.

Now, I try to reserve the word 'hate' for the really big stuff in life, like bigotry, rape and pestilance, but I really, REALLY don't like this guy.

Christopher/Trip once said that his humor was beneath sophmoronic, making it freshmoronic. Trip cracks me up

Adam Sandler does not. Get out of my mailbox. You ain't funny

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