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6-24-2002 - 12:38

Ashcroft

Y'all know that Missouri (usually a totally backwards state) was so eager to get rid of John Ashcroft that they actually voted a dead man into the Senate rather than have John represent them.

My buddy Jared posted this to the 'Queers on Parade' Message board this AM and it earns a big thumbs up from me. Go granny Go

"The following letter was read by the author at this year's In Celebration of the Muse, Cabrillo College. She was the highlight of the evening.

The author is a woman of 60+ years, conservatively dressed and obviously quite talented.

AN OPEN LETTER TO JOHN ASHCROFT, ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

On January 28, 2002, Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that he spent $8,000 of taxpayer's money for drapes to cover up the exposed breast of The Spirit of Justice, an 18 ft aluminum statue of a woman that stands in the Department of Justice's Hall of Justice.

John, John, John, you've got your priorities all wrong. While men fly airplanes into skyscrapers, dive bomb the Pentagon, while they stick explosives into their shoes, and then book a seat right next to us, while they hide knives in their luggage, steal kids on school buses, take little girls from their beds at night, drive trucks into our state capital buildings, while our president calls dangerous men all over the world evildoers and devils, while we live in the threat of biological warfare, nuclear destruction,and annihilation, you are out buying yardage to save Americans from the appalling, alarming, abominable aluminum alloy of evil, that terrible ten foot tin tittie.

You might not be able to find Bin Laden. But you sure as hell found the hooter in the hall of justice. It's not that we aren't grateful. But while we were begging the women of Afghanistan to not cover up their faces you are begging your staff members to just cover up that nipple to save the American people from that monstrous metal mammary.

How can we ever thank you?

So, in your office every morning in your secret prayer meeting, while an American woman is sexually assaulted every 6 seconds, while anthrax floats around the post office and settles in the chest of senior citizens, you've got another chest on your mind. While American sons arrive home in body bags, and heat seeking missiles fly around a foreign country looking for any warm body, you think of another body. And you pray for the biggest bra in the world, John, because you see that breast on The Spirit of Justice

in the spirit of your own inhibited sexuality.

And when we women see our grandmothers, our mothers, our daughters, our granddaughters, our sisters, ourselves--when we women see that statue, The Spirit of Justice, we see the spirit of strength, the spirit of survival.

While you look at that breast John, that jug on The Spirit of Justice and deal with your thoughts of lust and sex and nakedness, we see it as a testimony to motherhood. And you see it as a tit.

So now, John, you can be photographed while you stand there and talk about guns and bombs and poisons without the breast appearing over your right shoulder, without that bodacious bosom bothering you, and we just wanted to tell you in the spirit of justice, in the spirit of truth:

John, there is still one very big boob left standing there in the picture.

-Claire Braz-Valentine"



Go Back
Previously in Justinland: Our Last Five Entries

Wagons Ho! - 4-23-2004

This Old Barn - 4-17-2004

Death and Taxes - 4-15-2004

MMQB:Leftover Peeps - 4-12-2004

The Alamo; The Movie not the Shrine - 4-10-2004


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